Weak Sauce About Nothing

Salsa débil sobre nada!

Valkyrie – Fall 2008

Man, I cannot believe how much the critics are panning this film and it hasn’t even come close to coming out!
For the un-savvy, the movie is about Operation Valkyrie; The plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler and have a shadow government rule in his stead. Of course it failed since Adolf personally killed Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, possibly the head of the whole conspiracy.


Cruise as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg

It’s a story that should be done, and one that is really interesting. Will the execution be there? who knows. Tom Cruise is the one producing it under his newly resurrected United Artists production company. The last movie he came out with “Lions for Lambs” flopped big time, but many argue that it could have been a case of right movie, wrong time.

As with “Lions for Lambs,” “Valkyrie” has an impressive cast both in front of and behind the camera. Check out these names: (With movie credits that I’ve personally seen)
Bryan Singer – Director (X-men, X2, The Usual Suspects, Apt Pupil)
Christopher McQuarrie – Co-Writer (The Usual Suspects, The Way of the Gun)

Actors:
Tom Cruise– Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (MI: 1-3, Minority Report, Vanilla Sky)
Kenneth Branagh– Henning von Tresckow (Henry V, Much Ado About Nothing, Shackleton)
Tom Wilkinson – Friedrick Fromm (Batman Begins, The Exorcism of Emily Rose)
Bill Nighy– Friedrich Olbricht (Underworld, Pirates of the Caribbean 2-3, Shaun of the Dead)

His foolery and Scientology freakiness aside, in my humble opinion, Tom Cruise can act. Watch “Eyes Wide Shut,” “Vanilla Sky,” or “Minority Report” without prejudice and tell me he can’t? All 3 really great movies that I can’t imagine someone else playing his role.

Will the movie flop? Who knows. I know alot of movie goers are sick of hearing about him and so get turned off when the prospect of one of his movies comes around.  I just watched the trailer for Valkyrie. I’m not going to be the first in line to watch it opening weekend, but I do want to see it in the theatre when it comes out. (I’ll be saving my “Opening night” money on “The Dark Knight” by the way, but that’s another story!)

Advertisements

March 31, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, Movies, Philosphy/Religion, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“PR experience” does not mean “Foreign policy experience!”

Just because you travel to a foreign country and schmooze with the big wigs in said country, their children, take photos of the schmoozing, and write a book about it, does NOT mean that you have foreign policy experience. It means you have ass-kissing experience. Talking with a foreign minister’s wife about where you got your dress, or where she shops with her kids is not outlining how the US Government will be interacting with said country.


What’s worse is that this photo is undoctored

It wouldn’t bother me so much except that Hillary is using that to say “look what I have that Obama and McCain don’t.” Then, to top it off, she lies about how it happened? How did she think her little embellishment of the truth wouldn’t get out?

By saying what she did: “I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.” She would have us believe that the US Military put the first lady, and US citizens at risk of being killed just for a PR opportunity? Wouldn’t it make more sense to, oh, I don’t know, LAND SOMEWHERE ELSE? or if there was “sniper fire,” turn around and head back to the base you came from? It’s the first lady, not an Army unit, or a food chopper. They can cancel a PR trip. “No, no” says Hillary “We HAD to land and take photos. Many, many photos even at the risk of bullets zipping past.”


“Seriously Barak, the bullets were like PEEOOOOM!”

Do you realize that if she is citing that event as an example of her “foreign policy” experience, then Sinbad can also claim that he has foreign policy experience? (He was riding in the same chopper.) She’s saying that Sinbad risked getting killed to negotiate financial, social, and/or military interaction between Bosnia and the US?

Now she’s trying to backpedal from her little faux pa by saying: (this is EXACTLY what she said by the way) “I went to 80 countries, you know. I gave contemporaneous accounts, I wrote about a lot of this in my book. You know, I think that, a minor blip, you know, if I said something that, you know, I say a lot of things – millions of words a day – so if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement.”

You know? You know?. . . Well, I know she has a lot of staff members looking over her speeches. You’re telling me she just blurted that out? You’re telling me that all her statements aren’t carefully choreographed for the media?

List of women who make better leaders than “Billary”

March 25, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, News, Politics, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

FUCK!

Will I sleep tonight? Can I sleep tonight? Morning is coming… If I set my alarm for 9am and fall asleep within the next 15 mins I can get at least 5 hours of sleep before I have to go to work tomorrow.  Ok lay down on pillow hold other pillow off to my side. Morning is coming… God why cant I fall asleep?  God please can you let me get alittle rest tonight? Just for a few hours I cant keep doing this. Morning is coming… Well if I set my alarm to 9:30 and fall asleep in the next 30 mins or so I can get at least 3 hours of sleep. I wont have time for a shower but I really need at least that many hours or I swear I will straight out murder the next truck stop ugly that walks into the store tomorrow. Morning is coming… Please God just let me get Just a few hours of sleep. Morning is coming… DAMNIT they need to make a pillow that I don’t have to flip over and over to keep to the side of my face from getting hot. Its like I spent 7 dollars on a nightly reminder that I can never keep the things that make me happiest. Morning is coming… It is hot I am hot it is fuckin 7am and why the fuck can I not fall asleep? Hey look, the sun… I have turned my pillow over 37 and one half times I have gotten up to drink a glass of water 7 times and due to that I have gotten up another 4 times to take a piss. I look in the mirror every time I go to the bathroom and it is like I can actually see myself falling apart. 3 hours until I have to be at work… I think I might have fallen asleep for a moment at around 5 am or so I cant be sure but one second I was lying there on the fresh cold side of the pillow and the next  moment my pillow was hot and my arm was asleep. 7:53am… UGH… 8:37am SHIT, I better get up If I somehow did manage to fall asleep right now I am absolutely positive that my alarm could not wake me. 1 hour until work… Where the hell is my other sock, this is freakin bullshit every last one of my socks is dirty minus one? Where the fuck is your other half sock? Don’t make me yell at you and scare the dog! I have to say the dog does look abit concerned about my actions at this very moment… Alright I gave up I am now wearing one clean sock one dirty sock jeans no t-shirt just a hooded sweater. I have decided that today will be a no t-shirt day. A decision I soon regret its kinda warm today. Mother Nature must be on the rag im thinking… Did I brush my teeth, no fuck that, I smile and greet new customers with horrid breath and a very unkempt appearance and just zone the fuck out. Excuse me sir can I try this on. I point at the dressing room and don’t even look up. I might not murder anyone today but the customers I assure you are on edge. They come into the store and they can tell it isn’t a good day to purchase their size 40DDD bras. That’s a lot of fabric and quite frankly I aint folding no boulder holders today… Please God can I just sleep.

March 21, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, dude don't taze me, It's So Huge Jokes, News, Philosophy, Philosphy/Religion, Politics, Religion, Weak Sauce About Nothing, Work | 2 Comments

Stingrays are pissed off!

Holy crap!
Stingray jumps out of water in Florida Keys, hitting and killing Michigan boater


Like something out of a Sci-fi story!

I think the photo shows it all. the thing is HUGE. you have something that big jumping out of the water at your head, I’m not surprised the poor lady is dead!

I like the comment in the last part of the article:
“Rays jump to escape a predator, give birth and shake off parasites,”said Lynn Gear, supervisor of fishes and reptiles at Theater of the Sea in Islamorada. “They do not attack people.”

I don’t know about THAT!

March 21, 2008 Posted by | News, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Gray Haired Beauties

OK, I think I’m having an Oprah moment here.
Time magazine featured an article last month or so about gray haired women and how there is a large majority of women who are secure and happy with their gray hair. I guess even the fashion world is taking notice and have given us sound-bytes saying “Gray is chic”


Would she seem as gorgeous without her gray?

There are a few women around the office who take care of themselves, some have their curves, some don’t; who have gray hair. I didn’t think much of it at first but after a while I noticed that it does give them a certain character and maybe it’s the whole “older woman” thing but to be honest, I don’t think they would be as sexy without their gray hair. I’m not trying to degrade them or belittle them by calling them “sexy.” I use the term with extreme reverence to their age, (young or old, yes some are prematurely gray, how hot is that?!) gender and for some of them, their life experience. Indeed, a few of them are in various levels of management and when they’re spoken of, it’s in the highest respect/regard, they just also happen to be VERY handsome women.


Young Woman with Gray Hair
(Check out the link; interesting story about this pic)

Now, I realize that there are ladies and some guys out there who freak out when they see gray. Let me tell you from an admirer’s perspective; it’s not a big deal. In fact, to me, it’s a little disappointing when one day you see someone with some gray, and the next day it’s a completely different color. For example: one of the ladies in the office I was talking about has this really naturally curly hair. She parts it on the side and has it a little longer than shoulder length. She wears these small frame glasses that fit the shape of her face well, and maybe this is a guy thing with the glasses, but they make her look really cute. Where she parts it, she has this gray shock that only makes the front part of her hair gray. (and only halfway down the total length) The rest of her hair is a light brown to blond. It looks really cool the way her gray seems to frame the top part of her face. She had it this way for as long as I can remember. Then, one day it was ALL light brown. It completely changed the dynamic of her appearance! The color looked natural and matched the rest of her hair, but she really didn’t look the same! I happened to be working on her computer at the time (I’m in I.T. at the office) and overheard her telling a co-worker that a “Friend” of hers told her that she should do something about it so she decided to dye it. Thankfully she didn’t like the way it looked and she reverted back to what I described above. Her female co-workers agreed that she looked cuter with her gray. I would show you some pictures of these lovely ladies, but I can’t think of a way to get said pictures without seeming like a perv or having HR called over to my cubicle. I suppose I could claim I’m writing a book on the subject, but I’m not. I’m just blogging about it!


Someone already tackled this subject anyway.

This becomes almost like the breast implant argument: (Disclaimer: I’m not trying to woo anyone out there, I’m just being honest. Besides, I have a girlfriend!) for me, I’d rather see women how they are naturally, how God intended them. I get turned off knowing that even a part of the girl is fake. If a guy needs you to have bigger breasts, maybe you don’t need the guy. Looks are fleeting. That’s why most old men go after young women; because the men are shallow, self centered, and can’t appreciate a good personality. At the risk of sounding like a “Curves” commercial; If you want implants, get them for YOURSELF, not some guy. Dye your hair for YOU, not for how people see you.

On the fence about going gray? check out this gallery of Gray sirens.

Other interesting articles on Gray: (check out some of the comments, we all can’t be wrong!)
http://www.oprah.com/beauty/hair/hair_omag_200710_gray.jhtml

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/bn_hair_Gray_Hair.htm

http://blog.wardrobe911.com/2007/07/gray-hair-beaut.html

http://www.flickr.com/photos/53674854@N00/144943704/

March 18, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, News, Philosophy, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I have been the suck!

So yeah I have been the suck about posting to hear. And I probably wont get much better, but I will get somewhat better I promise and this promise might actually work out who knows really. Anyways I just wanted to post here to see if people are still checking this little blog we got here. Also we have all been the suck about the podcast, and I am really hoping that it is not dead. Lets get together guys and talk about its future or lack there of. anyways later peeps.

~Awesome Kong out.

March 18, 2008 Posted by | Weak Sauce About Nothing | 2 Comments

McDonalds Jelly Is A Sauce

I woke up this morning and I was hungry as hell.  I have a screwed up tooth so everything that I eat has to be done gingerly.  As a consequence I haven’t eaten to much this week.  So this morning I decided that I would have me a McDonald’s Big Breakfast.  So far so good.

Big BreakfastI decided that I would make my way to the biscuit.   Now the biscuit is a delicious morsel of tastiness that is not to be missed.  But it is even better with some grape jelly.  It has been a while since I’ve had a biscuit from McDonald’s so I opened it, got out the knife, ready to spread the jelly, and then opened the jelly packet and squeezed.

The jelly came out like ketchup.  NO knife required, I could have put it on the plate and dipped my biscuit in it.  What the hell?  That isn’t jelly, you should have to spread jelly.  IT isn’t a sauce, it is a topping.  Are we so lazy that we can’t even spread our jelly on a biscuit?  My guess would be yes.  After all I’m eating it.

March 5, 2008 Posted by | Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Stephen Horner is a bastard

Either that or he’s flaming gay.*
This guy got his panties in a wad because he was denied a voucher for a free Colorado Rockies ladies night game. Now the hippies at the Colorado Civil Rights Division say there’s probable cause for gender discrimination. Next, there’s going to be state-ordered mediation between the Rockies and this douche bag.


The Colorado Civil Rights Division

Can’t someone explain to him what “Ladies Night” means instead? Do we really have to waste time on this loser who has no idea what having his civil rights violated means?

*He’s supposedly an Anti-feminist, but is likely a flaming gay. Now, I’m not judging him for being gay, I don’t hate gay people, it’s just a lifestyle that is against my PERSONAL beliefs. I don’t try to shove them down people’s throats (that often.) Live and let live, I say. Except when he starts scaring the women away with his self-righteous-pompus-ass-hole-who-has-nothing-better-to-do attitude.  There’s an article on The Tribune about it and the guy who commented on it put it best: “Does he not know they do ladies nights so more women go, which attracts men? It’s sort of like cutting off your nose to spite your face.”

He won a similar ruling against night clubs in Denver because they had a ladies night. The guy needs to find a girlfriend or get his ass kicked by feminists.

He’s probably the reason they got rid of the ladies programs for the Rockies, the Nuggets, The Avalanche and the Broncos. Programs that were set up to show women how the various sports work, so they can enjoy it like most men do. Does he not want women watching sports? Wouldn’t it be nice if both sexes could enjoy something on a common level? Not to Stephen Horner, he was turned down one too many times by women and crying himself to sleep one night decided to make them all pay. The problem is, he’s pissing off the men too.

I think we should turn him into a black person or a hispanic person and time warp him back to early 1950’s America in the south so he can see first-hand what it means to have his civil rights violated. Not getting a Ladies night voucher because he’s a GUY is not a violation.


Stephen Horner

March 4, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, News, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Flash Artist Feature: Joel Veitch

For the unsavvy, this is the British guy who runs www.rathergood.com and is a member of the B3ta group. He is the mind behind the sponge monkey ads that Quiznos used to run. “We love the suuuuubs. . .”


Kind of a creepy commercial

Joel’s imagry tends to be pretty rough and it gives it that “cut out of a magazine and pasted onto construction paper” feel. Early on in his work the mouths of his subjects wouldn’t move in sync with the words they were supposed to be saying, he would opt to just have the mouths opening and closing rapidly or slowly depending on the speed of the audio. Rather than looking incomplete or lazy, it actually gives his work another level of creepiness. Love or hate the subjects, or his Flash work, he’s right up there when it comes to obscurity, imagination, and musical talent. My favorite peice is “seepage” baby seals, can you feel it?

March 3, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, Music, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments