Weak Sauce About Nothing

Salsa débil sobre nada!

Tiger Woods, ambassador of sports (except for hockey)

“I don’t think anyone really watches hockey anymore.” – Tiger Woods

Allow us, for a moment, to point out the subtle difference between hockey legend Wayne Gretzky and golf superstar Tiger Woods, pictured here with an even bigger icon, Diamond David Lee Roth. Gretzky was asked in a press conference back in March about Woods, and said that he never thought he’d see an athlete dominate like Michael Jordan did — until Tiger hit his stride.

“He’s the greatest athlete I’ve ever seen,” he said. And when pressed by a cynical reporter that golfers may not exactly fit the mold of an athlete like, say, even the most physically maligned hockey player does, Gretzky rushed to the defense of an entire sport whose participants range from senior citizens on a Saturday morning in South Florida to children trying to get a ball into a clown’s mouth. “You ever tried to golf? You better be a good athlete if you try to golf.”

How does Tiger choose to repay that respect, during the NHL’s moment in the spotlight?

“I don’t think anyone really watches hockey anymore.”

The full quote came from a news conference at Oakland Hills Country Club in Michigan yesterday, where Tiger appeared via satellite. He was asked his thoughts about Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals. He chuckled, and then answered:

 

“I don’t really care,” he said with an impish smile. “It’s all about the Dodgers. I don’t think anyone really watches hockey anymore.”

 

What’s rather amusing is that this wasn’t a hard-hitting question from a Detroit sports reporter; it was a softball lobbed by Julius Mason, the PGA of America’s senior director of communications. When it appeared Tiger would be less than gracious to the sport currently capturing the imagination of a place called Hockeytown, Mason tried to end the answer by saying Woods was “politically correct as always and that’s what we …” before Tiger added his candid assessment of hockey’s popularity.

Not even PR flackery could curb Tiger’s hunger to diss the game.

The NHL addressed his comments in a general way. Our first inclination was to label this as some clever NIKE brainwashing: Convincing one of its biggest brand names to ignore how awesome hockey really is in order to go after the NHL and Reebok. But wouldn’t the EA Sports brainwashing counteract that?

Perhaps Tiger is still bitter about the demise of the All-Star Café with Gretzky.

The bottom line is that Tiger Woods downgraded a sport that’s been good to him, from charity appearances at golf tournaments to fans asking about when “hockey’s Tiger Woods” will arrive. As they say among champions: Act like you’ve been there, Tiger. You’re already the guy who gets bigger headlines for not playing in a tournament than the NHL gets for playing an all-star game. No need to rub it in.

As for you, Gretzky: Time to get Tiger in the arena for a playoff game, so the puckhead conversion can begin and we can put this all behind us.

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June 4, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, News, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Stephen Horner is a bastard

Either that or he’s flaming gay.*
This guy got his panties in a wad because he was denied a voucher for a free Colorado Rockies ladies night game. Now the hippies at the Colorado Civil Rights Division say there’s probable cause for gender discrimination. Next, there’s going to be state-ordered mediation between the Rockies and this douche bag.


The Colorado Civil Rights Division

Can’t someone explain to him what “Ladies Night” means instead? Do we really have to waste time on this loser who has no idea what having his civil rights violated means?

*He’s supposedly an Anti-feminist, but is likely a flaming gay. Now, I’m not judging him for being gay, I don’t hate gay people, it’s just a lifestyle that is against my PERSONAL beliefs. I don’t try to shove them down people’s throats (that often.) Live and let live, I say. Except when he starts scaring the women away with his self-righteous-pompus-ass-hole-who-has-nothing-better-to-do attitude.  There’s an article on The Tribune about it and the guy who commented on it put it best: “Does he not know they do ladies nights so more women go, which attracts men? It’s sort of like cutting off your nose to spite your face.”

He won a similar ruling against night clubs in Denver because they had a ladies night. The guy needs to find a girlfriend or get his ass kicked by feminists.

He’s probably the reason they got rid of the ladies programs for the Rockies, the Nuggets, The Avalanche and the Broncos. Programs that were set up to show women how the various sports work, so they can enjoy it like most men do. Does he not want women watching sports? Wouldn’t it be nice if both sexes could enjoy something on a common level? Not to Stephen Horner, he was turned down one too many times by women and crying himself to sleep one night decided to make them all pay. The problem is, he’s pissing off the men too.

I think we should turn him into a black person or a hispanic person and time warp him back to early 1950’s America in the south so he can see first-hand what it means to have his civil rights violated. Not getting a Ladies night voucher because he’s a GUY is not a violation.


Stephen Horner

March 4, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, News, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments