Weak Sauce About Nothing

Salsa débil sobre nada!

Harmony of the dancing chicken and dragon

“You don’t hear guys going to a club saying to one another; ‘Screw chicks tonight bro, I gotta dance!’ “
     -Dane Cook

Do we really need another dance movie? I understand there are real underground dance competitions and I’m sure they’re very good at what they do. But seriously, a dance movie coming out on Valentine’s day? You know the only guys going are likely gays. Even gay dancers probably have more respect than that.

Here’s a nice piece of shit. . .

How about that tag line: “It’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re at?”What the fuck does that even mean? It was just as shitty when it was called “Breakin” oh wait, when it was called “Footloose” or “Dirty Dancing” or “Save The Last Dance” “Save The Last Dance 2” or “Step Up” I heard a comment from someone while I was subjected to this shit a second time before Cloverfield started. This jackass said something lame like; “It’s this generation looking for that good dance movie of their era. For ours, it was Footloose.”  WHAT? I remember footloose being pretty shitty for it’s time too pal. If I lived in a comic book, I would have unbolted my theatre chair and bashed the guys head in when I heard that.

I guarantee you; the acting: shit, the direction: shit, the music: shit, chance of gaining any awards: shit. “yo bro, don’t knock it, there’s a chick dancing in rain and she looks HOT!”OK ‘bro’ if I wanted to see tits, or nudity, or even half-nudity, I don’t need a shitty movie, I would check the 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 sites dedicated to it on the internet. (FOR FREE by the way) go to google and type in “tits” that’s it. hit enter.  I just saved you the price of admission. You’re welcome.

The only dancing I want to see is on my Chinese take out box between the chicken and the dragon. The dancing mystically keeps my chicken fried rice from tasting like shit.

Now that’s what I call dancing!


January 28, 2008 Posted by | Don't taze me bro, Movies, Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Cloverfield tonight (or maybe tomorrow)!

So we want to go and record afterwards, what is the time that works for you all?

Steve wants to do it tomorrow…would you all be down with that?  I would like to record right after we see it.

January 18, 2008 Posted by | Movies | , | 10 Comments

Sulsho Is For To The Best Taste Sensation

December 13, 2007 Posted by | Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , | Leave a comment

Face Transplants and Sweeny Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Face Transplant Lady

So here is what freaks me out.  The lady pictured above.  She was the first person to receive a partial face transplant.  Though it is amazing to think about the fact that she lost most of her face from her dog trying to eat her, and doctors were able to make her look mostly like herself, I am freaked out that this is something that can even happen.  Imagine you are a criminal five years into the future.  You could probably have a face transplant done, and look like a different person, even if they just took your face off and put it back on.  Freaks me the fuck out.

On a totally different note, I was on Rotten Tomatoes some more, and Sweeny Todd is looking pretty good so far.  I have been looking forward to it, but the heavy shadow of I Am Legend and Cloverfield, has kind of glossed over how much I want to see it.  There are a lot of good movies out there to see this year.  I hope I get to catch some of them.

December 12, 2007 Posted by | Movies, News | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In an effort to keep my sanity this afternoon…

I cruised on over to Rotten Tomatoes, and did a little bit of reading on I Am Legend.  Looks like, so far so good.  The concensus seems to be that the first 2/3rds of the movie (IE the introspective, Robert Neville all alone part) is a lot better than the last 1/3rd (IE the Robert Neville flees crazy vampire action flick stuff).  I thought this review was really telling.  This didn’t turn me off to the movie at all, and since he actually knows that there are other adaptations fo the book, and knows how the movie ending differs from the book I’m down.

Did I mention I have a signed copy of I Am Legend.  Richard Matheson is the shit.

And on top of all this good press for I Am Legend, I’m still more excited about Cloverfield.

December 12, 2007 Posted by | Books, Movies | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So I’m rarely excited by my movie going prospects but…

Ok so normally the prospects of going to the movies for me is really limited to the occasional horror flick with some of my friends, or kids movies (I have three kids, the last three movies I’ve seen in the theatre are Enchanted, Bee Movie, and something that I have forgotten).  But somehow I’m actually excited to see a few movies.

First off the ones that I’m lesser excited to see, I’m excited to see National Treasure 2, Golden Compass, The Kite Runner, and Walk Hard.  But those aren’t the ones that I want to talk about. 

Here are the three movies that I really want to see.

3.  Sweeny Todd:  Demon Barber of Fleet Street.  I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.  It is an adaption of one of my favorite musicals of all time, with Tim Burton as director, and Johnny Depp as Sweeny Todd.  I don’t think I should have to say anything else to back up my desire to see this movie, but if you need more.  It is about a guy that kills people, and his wife makes meat pies out of them, with singing.  I mean seriously straight razor carnage, canibalisim, and singing.  Love it.

2.  I Am Legend:  I have very low expectations of this film.  But man I fucking love this book, and the need for there to be a good film adaptation of it is amazing.  The other two are hit or miss, the hit being Last Man on Earth.  Staring Vincent Price, I think this is going to be the film that I Am Legend is going to most closly reflect.  The miss, Omega Man, this cluster fuck staring Charleton Heston is one of those movies that is only good, because it is so bad.  It is camp and lame, and I pray to God the new I Am Legend is nothing like it.

1.  Cloverfield:  Ok this total Daikaju has such a build up for me that I just can’t tell you how excited I am to see it.  If you don’t know anything about it, I would encourage you to seek it out.  That will be more fun than me just telling you all about it.

December 5, 2007 Posted by | Movies | , , , , , | 1 Comment