Weak Sauce About Nothing

Salsa débil sobre nada!

It’s So Big!

1. It’s so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.

2. It’s so big it has stairs on the inside and an elevator for the handicapped.

3.  It’s so big my mother was in labor for an extra two days. 

4.  It’s so big, it refuses to take Spielberg’s calls 

5.  It’s so big it has it’s own gravitational pull. 

6.  It’s so big it beeps when I back up. 

7.  It’s so big Jesus said, “God Damn!” 

8.  It’s so big I have to ride shotgun. 

9.  It’s so big it causes rolling blackouts

10.Its so big that there is an elder sign sealing it up, but when it rises from it’s watery grave it will have tentacles.  

11.  Its so big it has its own doomsday cult. 

12.  It so big, when I get happy – California has a blackout. 

13.  It’s so big she asked if I keep it in a missile silo when not in use. 

14.  Its so big, people in the next state have to put on rain coats. 

15.  It’s so big the Wikipedia entry takes ten minuets to load on high speed. 

16.  It’s so big it is the list WMD. 

17.  It’s so big it had a segment on “best week ever”. 

18.  It’s so big that it got the most votes on American Idol without singing. 

19.  It’s so big that once the statue of it is toppled and a dude hits it with his shoe democracy will prevail in Iraq. 

20.  Its so big, it has its own thread on Slashdot. 

21.  It so big I had to take out earthquake insurance. 

22.  It’s so big it used for a space crane. 

23.  It’s so big it has been known to say, “All Your Base Are Belong To Us.” 

24.  Its so big its it own float in the macy’s parade. 

25.  It’s so big it’s evil twin has it’s own zip code. 

26.  It’s so big it took out Mothra. 

27.  It’s so big it won an Oscar for, “Crap that is big”. 

28.  It so big it will win the next Iraq election.  Twice. 

29.  It’s so big it was the stunt double for the worm in “Dune”. 

30.  It’s so big, it’s in you now. 

31.  It’s so big it’s being considered for state hood. 

32.  It’s so big I like to call the Grand Canyon, “The Bun.” 

33.  It’s so big it sunk the Titanic. 

34.  It’s so big the used it to dig the panama canal. 

35.  It’s so big it causes the tides. 

36.  It’s so big  I have to move it by train. 

37.  It’s so big it has a buffet and casino inside. 

38.  It’s so big it has a sign that says, “Must be this tall to ride.” 

39.  It is so big they considered using it for the international space station. 

40.  It’s so big is has rings like a tree. 

41.  It’s so big it make the lincon monument limp. 

42.  It’s so big your girl has to use oxygen to get to the top. 

43.  It’s so big that it shows up on radar. 

44.  It’s so big it gets it’s own mail. 

45.  It’s so big it has it’s own message board. 

46.  It’s so big that you can buy a subscription to it. 

47.  It’s so big it has a press agent. 

48.  It’s so big – it has it’s own atmosphere. 

49.  It’s so big – you can’t go around it in 80 days, 

50.  It’s so big you can BASE jump off it. 

51.  it’s so big it has a floor show. 

52.  it’s so big the guy from Virgin records wants to buy one. 

53.  It’s so big it’s huge! 

54.  It’s so big light slow down when it passed by. 

55.  It’s so big if you cut it half it grows to more heads. 

56.  It’s so big  . .  it’s big. 

57.  It’s so big that it has its own nationality. 

58.  It’s so big it won more Olympic gold than Russia in the winter Olympics 

59.  It’s so big it has a head like Sputnik. 

60.  It’s so big, it parted the Red Sea. 

61.  It’s so big it takes an hour for lunch. 

62.  It’s so big – it gets its own lunch break 

63.  So big it has it’s own PAC in Washington. 

64.  It’s so big – if I had it and place to stand I could move the earth. 

65.  It’s so big it has it’s own congressional district. 

66.  Its so big – senator’s lobby it. 

67.  It’s so big they made the tent over DIA out of the “briss”. 

68.  “The house will now hear from the state of My Big Dick” 

69.  It’s so big it beats the Concorde circumnavigating the globe. 

70.  When you rub it turns into a suitcase. 

71.  It’s so big I had to tell this part of the joke today, it wouldn’t fit into 1 day

72.  It’s so big when I go swimming in the ocean the tsunami takes out California and Japan. 

73.  It’s so big you have to roll a 20 just to get off it. 

74.  It’s so big it makes Hiroshima look small. 

75.  It so big, had it been used as a levy, New Orleans would still be dry. 

76.  It’s so big we are both standing on it right now. 

77.  It’s so big your standing on it right now. 

78.  it’s so big it is .50 Cal. 

79.  Its so big, it shoots pool balls. 

80.  it’s so big I use it as a pool table room. 

81.  It’s so big I use it as a pool stick.   

82.  It’s so big I use and 18 wheeler to tote it around. 

83.  It’s so big – it’s the Loch Ness monster 

84.  It’s so big it is always in anthropomorphic widescreen. 

85.  It’s so big I have to buy a whole row at the theatre. 

86.  It is so big that often it is mistaken for God. 

87.  It’s so big, where you to see it whole and complete in one glance – you would go mad. 

88.  It’s so big that Godzilla is a miniature of it. 

89.  It’s so big Speilburg is filming it in the nest starwars. 

90.  It’s so big it has it’s own reality TV show. 

91.  It’s so big its got it own toy line. 

92.  It’s so big that it needs a parachute to slow down the mushroom stamp. 

93.  It’s so big God uses it for his yard work.   

94.  It’s so big I play baseball with Halley’s comet with it. 

95.  It’s so big – it’s the island for a reality TV show. 

96.  It’s so big that I should be saying “chicken” right now with 3/4 of the earths population. 

97.  Wow – this has gotten ridiculous.  As ridiculous as the size of it. 

98.  It’s so big they used to call it Yagdrassill, The World Tree. 

99.  It’s so big from a tall tower you can see the curvature of it. 

100.  ::bows then stumbles because it is so big:: 

101.  It is so big that it is bigger than Atlas Shrugged. 

102.  It’s so big Atlas shrugs. 

103.  It is so big it has two literary genre devoted to it.  Humungophalism, and Post Humungophalism. 

104.  Its to big – you can read War and Peace while walking across it. . .  backwards. 

105.  It’s so big that it has to have its own section at the Smithsonian. 

106.  Its so big the dewy decimal system has to be revised. 1000-500000000000 are now devoted to it. 

107.  It’s so big it has EU membership. 108.  Its so big they are using it as a template for the European super-collider. 

109.  It’s so big it is an Endurance Track on Gran turismo 5. 

110.  Its so big it has it’s own lane on the Autobahn 

111.  It’s so big, it has one. 

112.  It’s so big I use the Eiffel tower as a prophylactic. 

113.  It’s so big IT              W  ROTE   THIS   E MA  IL    (it had to aim it a little). 

114.  It’s so big it was the model for the Great Wall of China. 

115.  It’s so big Sally Struthers looks small. 

116.  It’s so big it is called “The Blind Idiot God”. 

117.  It’s so big Peter Frampton flys an inflatable version of it at his concerts. 

118.  It’s so big Pink Floyd refused to do another show until I let it go flaccid. 

119.  It’s so big it accounts for the missing “Dark Matter” in the universe. 

120.  It’s so big it is “cyclopean”. 

121.  It’s so big it accounts for all UFO activity. 

122.  It’s so big Richard Dryfus make models of it in mashed potatoes. 

123.  It’s so big it’s detachable so I can walk. 

124.  It is so big – it proves the God can make something so heavy the he himself cannot lift it. 

125.  Its so big I….OH MY GOD IT JUST ATE SOME ONE!!!! 

126.  Its so big – I use it to walk – pogo style. 

127.  It’s so big it has a spin off show.  “Twig ‘N Berries Fun Hour”. 

128.  It so big the purple people eater song is about it. 

129.  It’s so big it’s a five page word document…so far. 

130.  Moses didn’t part the Red Sea. It’s so big when I layed it across the Red Sea the water didn’t have the balls to go back. 

131.  It’s so big Chuck Norris couldn’t even roundhouse kick it.

132.  It’s so big I use the balls as milestones.  To Grind me Bread. 

133.  It’s so big it one of the orginial power 9. 

134.  It’s so big when I turn around, there’s a sonic boom. 

135.  It’s so big it has it’s own heart. 

136.  It’s so big it drives it’s own car.  

137.  It’s so big it has a body gaurd for each end. 

138.  It’s so big I use the balls as flotation devices 

139.  It’s so big I wash it at the car wash 

140.  It’s so big I have torn a hole in space and time 

141.  It’s so big I have to wear a sign warning about my need to make right had turns from the left lane 

142.  It’s so big it articulated like a bus. 

143.  It’s so big I have to get a FAA permit just to wake up in the morning. 

144.  It’s so big I have to make a Sisyphean effort when I take a whiz. 

145.  It’s so big it is considered livestock. 

146.  It’s so big it is considered “steerage” on a ship. 

147.  It is so big Carnival Cruises use it as a “pleasure boat”. 

148.  It’s so big is satisfies your mother. 

149.  Its so big the catholic church ex-communicated Galileo for saying it was the center of the universe. 

150.  Its so big I poke myself in the ass. 

151.  It’s so big, it’s the only thing can satisfy your mother. 

152.  It’s so big, you can use it to commit Seppeku. 

153.  It is so big it discovered electricity 

154.  it is so big it predates man 

155.  It is so big there is biblical prophecy about it 

156.  It is so big Dan Browns book is going to be about it, “The Big Dickchi Code” 

157.  It is so big it is 23. 

158.  Its so big it was the obelisk in 2001 a space oddicy.The working title for which was “Jesus that guys package is Huge, lets make a movie that big. . . . only smaller”. 

159.  Its so big you can use it to exit an crashed airliner. 

160.  It so big – it benches 250. 

161.  Its so big pi cannot be used to calculate its area. 

162.  It’s so big – it proves the universe is still expanding. 

163.  It’s so big light from the head will not reach he earth for another 100 million years. 

164.  It’s so big it also forms a mobuis strip. A big one. 

165.  It’s so big William Blake write poetry about it. 

166.  It’s so big it’s the real reason Hemmingway drank himself to death. 

167.  It’s so big it won the allied war against Germany. 

168.  It’s so big when i move it, it require in flight refueling. 

169.  It’s so big the Mother Phucking Guns of Naverone we named after it. 

170.  It’s so big it’s got a tatto “BMFC”. 

171.  It’s so big the mushroom stamp looks like a mushroom cloud. 

172.  It’s so big it caused El Nino and the North Atlantic Current. 

173.  It’s so big the move Moon Shot is about a date I once had. 

174.  It’s so big it has it’s own band 

175.  It’s so big the fan club has 30,000 members 

176.  It’s so big it has arms and legs 

177.  It’s so big that Michal Jackson tried to buy one for the neverland ranch 

178.  It’s so big they made a new size for it “Astronamically Enormous Magnum” 

179.  It’s so big that Sagan said “billions” at least nine times when he was talking about it. 

180.  Feel that tap on your shoulder, yeah that’s me. 

181.  It’s so big it has it’s own Social Security Number 

182.  It’s so big that it is considered a family of four 

183.  It’s so big I can deduct it as a dependant on my taxes 

184.  It’s so big even Microsoft can’t buy one. 

185.  It’s so big if you jumped of the top – you would never land. 

186.  It’s so big I have to use two hands. 

187.  It’s so big I have to use non-euclidian geometry to define it. 

188.  It’s so big it wears a hat and talks to my neighbors. 

189.  It’s so big people drink Kool-Aid when I come by. 

190.  It’s so big it is open source 

191.  It is so big when I’m dong I need at least ten packs of cigarettes around for everyone that I have “pleasured” 

192.  It’s so big that when i’m done the whole state is bukk…well you get the idea 

193.  It is so big that it is on Santa’s naughty list…twice 

194.  It is so big it has it’s own D&D source book, “The Book of Giant Bigness” 

195.  It is so big it is the “Big Bang” 

196.  On the eighth day it was created. 

197.  It is so big it outweighs most of Steven King’s books. 

198.  It’s so big it has a huge cell phone bill 

199.  It’s so big it “discovered” P-diddy 

200.  It’s so big people think there is an eclipse going on wherever I go 

201.  It’s so big I have to use the hubble telescope to aim it. 

202.  It’s to big it says Kamatsu on the side. 

203.  It’s so big Bob Dylan wrote a protest song about it. 

204.  It’s so big FEMA has a separate fund just for it. 

205.  It’s so big it’s the bride to Asgard. 

206.  It’s so big Marvel is considering it for its Ultimate line of comics 

207.  It’s so big that they made a manga 

208.  It’s so big…FREEEEEEDOM!!! 

209.  It’s so big it’s got more MDC then a glitter boy.

210.  It’s so big it is now 10 pages 

211.  It’s so big when I un-zip I have to yell, “ AAAAAAAAAKKKKKKIIRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

212.  It’s so big it has its own volume in the encyclopedia 

213.  It’s so big that, what’s that behind you?  ::mushroom stamp:: 

214.  It’s so big that it makes Marlon Brando look small 

215.  It’s so big it turned down an apperance on Oprah 

216.  It’s so big it has it’s way with the center of the universe. 

217.  It’s so big they take core samples to see how the universe was at the beginning of time.

218.  It’s so big it’s called the Aristocrates.

219.  Its so big Richard Scary wrote a book about it. 

220.  It’s so big it has it’s own book. 

221.  It’s so big it was a guest host on Loveline. 

222.  It’s so big DeSade doesn’t even want to write about it.

223.  It’s so big it baffles science.

224.  It’s so big it could only be the result of Intelligent Design. 

225.  It’s so big it played live at budakon. 

226.  It’s so big I can tie a knot in the middle and still be 10”+

227.  It’s so big I can’t drop the soap in my own shower.

228.  It’s so big that if I have an arm full of groceries it will get the door for me. 

229.  Its so big it has curb feelers.

230.  It’s so big it destroyed Tokyo. 

231.  I had morning wood amongst the sequoias and everyone noticed the extra tree. 2

232.  It’s so big the answer got bumped to 43. 

233.  It’s so big yada yada yada.

234.  It’s so big Sienfield wants to know that the deal is with it.

235.  It’s so big it slapped Dee Barnes 

236.  It’s so big   . . .       I think I am running out of ideas.

237.  It’s so big, if it were to fall down in the forest, even if no one was there, it would still make a sound.

238.  It’s so big the snow is it dandruff (it cold because it’s so far up). 

239.  It’s so big the it is technically considered a megalopolis. 

240.  It’s so big quantum mechanics was developed to measure it. 

241.  Its so big it the eon hand on universe mans watch. 

242.  It’s so big It slapped the doctor when I was born 

243.  It’s so big it won the Tour de France. 

244.  It’s so big it has a room in it’s house where ninja’s are continually training.  I call them The Balls.  As apposed to the Foot or the Hand. 

245.  It’s so big, it fights crime wearing a cape. 

246.  It’s so big it has a team of ninja assassins to do its bidding 

247.  It’s so big it k0x0r3d j00 up. 

248.  1t’s $0 b1g 1t$ l33t. 

249.  It’s so big, it looks like a baby holding and apple.  

250.  It’s so big it blots out the sun. 

251.  I get my Russian brides k0x0r3d up from here. 

252.  It’s so big that I like to call is ICBM. 

253.  Intercontinental Balisstic Male Chicken ICBMC 

254.  It’s so big it’s a Halberd, Guisarm, Bec de’ Corbin, Military Fork, Great Flail all at the same time. 

255.  It’s so big it is a cudgel. 

256.  It’s so big it is the 8th wonder of the world. 

257.  It’s so big I keep it under the “big top”. 

258.  It’s so big, Stonehenge was built to measure it’s movements. 

259.  It’s so big, I build the great pyramid at Giza so I would have a place to rest it when I stood up. 

260.  It’s so big – it is the posulate of Eiestien’s lesser known theory of relativity.  Namely that everything else is very small with compared to it. 

261.  Oh and in E=MC^2 the c stands for my Male Chicken. 

262.  Le Grand Chapeau?

263.  It’s so big it reached back in time and penned Hamurabi’s Code. 

264.  Its so big, it is widely regarded by scholars as the basis for the Epic of Gilgamesh.  A HUGE flood. 

265.  It is so big that to view it is to understand the universe itself. 

266.  IT’s so big It exists at all times – it is to big to have all of it in once place, at one time. 

267.  It’s so big – it looks flat. 

268.  It’s so big I don’t know who I’m in. 

269.  It’s so big I just assume I’m in everyone.

270.  It’s so big people think it is the return of the dinosaurs. 

271.  Its so big, boston big dig is all for me.   

272.  It so big that the plastic poncho was developed for use with it. 

273.  Its so big it causes nuclear winter. 

274.  It’s so big it has an LLC. 

275.  It’s so big it trades shares on the NYSE. 

276.  It’s so big it charges me rent. 

277.  It’s so big it has it’s own secret headquarters. 

278.  It’s the on that says Bad Mother Phucker. 

279.  Its to big I have to use a raid 0-5 array to back it up.  

280.  It’s so big, its GDP is higher then most small European countries. 

281.  It’s so big – its value is high against the dollar. 

282.  It’s so big it says bank and trust on the side. 

283.  It’s so big it is has a 200gb hard drive. 

284.  It’s so big it is Mace Windu’s “Lightsabre”. 

285.  It’s Sofa King huge, it’s a sectional, with a sleeper. 

286.  It’s so big, Jake the Snakes keeps it in a bag when he wrestles. 

287.  It’s so big they use it as a fire hose. 

288.  It’s so big – when people talk about using 10% of their brains – I only can use 10% of it. 

289.  If they had drilled a couple of feet more, they would have found how big it is. 

290.  Its so big, given a fulcrum and a place to stand I still won’t be able to lift it. 

291.  It’s so big it has a slogan. A man A plan, a huge wanger. 

292.  When I’m done it will be the setting of the 5th sun. 

293.  It’s so big . . . it resonates to the chant of “Ohm . . . Ohm” 294.  It’s so big I stand in for the Sears Tower when it goes on vacation. 

295.  It’s so big . . . when you ride it – it cuts your foot off.296.  It’s so bit they call it The Tower of doom at Elitches. 

297.  It’s so big it everyone on MySpace is it’s friend.  

298.  It’s so big it was willing to die for your sins. (yikes did I just write that). 

299.  It’s so big . . . It has a star named after it. 300.  It’s so big . . . Godot waits for it.301.  It’s so big it is on the National Lighthouse registry.


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