Weak Sauce About Nothing

Salsa débil sobre nada!

Superman is Clown Shoes Part I

Got your attention? good! This is going to be like one of those “Ford vs. Chevy” arguments except more intelligent and oh, by the way, Toyota Tundra got Motor Trend Truck of the year this year. . .suck on that for a while you damn rednecks!

Ford and Chevy getting their shit ruined.
Superman has got to be the single dumbest character ever. His powers, identity, occupation and over-all personality are weak-sauce. “Prove it!” you say? Well, OK I will. I’m going to pit Superman against my personal all-time favorite: Batman. (I can’t believe Warner Bros. was seriously considering doing a Batman vs. Superman movie. DUMBEST IDEA EVER)

Let’s just look at the comics:


Puss.


The man.

 I ask you: which one looks cooler? Which one would be the one to evoke more fear?
Powers:
Superman:
Flight, Super strength enhanced by Earth’s yellow sun, icy breath, Lazer or Heat eyes, fast (but that might go under flight)
Technically “Flight” shouldn’t be in there because as you may well remember, the original tag line was “able to leap tall buildings in a single bound” so he had the strength to jump real high. I’ll give you flight anyway. (Damn babies) Also Icy breath was a more modern ability since originally it was that his lungs were strong enough to blow real hard. . .WHAT! I’m not making this up! Superman blows! Real hard!


Seriously. this is the toy for “Super Breath” Superman. I say again: Puss.

Batman:
Without bat-gadgets: Agility, Stealth, Superior Detection skills, Superior hand-to-hand combat knowledge (various martial arts) superior knowledge spanning several studies of sciences including Psychology, Medicine, Geology, Avionics, Marine science, Archaeology, Mechanics, engineering, Chemistry, Electronics etc. (but all that might go under detection skills)
With bat-gadgets: Illusion, repelling/descending, targeting with projectiles, Various antidotes/anti-toxins
THE BATMOBILE/Various bat-vehicles
Stay tuned for Clown Shoes part 2 coming soon. More compelling evidence that Superman is Clown Shoes!
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May 8, 2008 Posted by | Weak Sauce About Nothing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments