Flash Artist Feature: Joel Veitch

For the unsavvy, this is the British guy who runs www.rathergood.com and is a member of the B3ta group. He is the mind behind the sponge monkey ads that Quiznos used to run. “We love the suuuuubs. . .”

Kind of a creepy commercial

Joel’s imagry tends to be pretty rough and it gives it that “cut out of a magazine and pasted onto construction paper” feel. Early on in his work the mouths of his subjects wouldn’t move in sync with the words they were supposed to be saying, he would opt to just have the mouths opening and closing rapidly or slowly depending on the speed of the audio. Rather than looking incomplete or lazy, it actually gives his work another level of creepiness. Love or hate the subjects, or his Flash work, he’s right up there when it comes to obscurity, imagination, and musical talent. My favorite peice is “seepage” baby seals, can you feel it?

Worst song ever written

I have the joy of sitting in front of my company’s work out room (called the “Peak Performance Center”) so I get to hear the crappy radio stations everyone picks. Today I heard quite possibly the worst song ever written by a commercial entity. The song? “Closing Time” by Semisonic. quite possibly the worst band out there (besides Placebo, I can’t believe they’re still around) Any other candidates for worst song ever written?

Check out these priceless gem lyrics:

Closing time – time for you to go out, go out into the world.
Closing time – turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.
Closing time – one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time – you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.

I know who I want to take me home. (x3)
Take me home…

Closing time – time for you to go back to the places you will be from.
Closing time – this room won’t be open ’til your brothers or you sisters
come.
So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits – I hope you have found a friend.
Closing time – every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

Yeah,
I know who I want to take me home. (x3)
Take me home…

Closing time – time for you to go back to the places you will be from…

I know who I want to take me home. (x3)
Take me home…

Closing time – every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end…

The Color Of Money Tonight

The Color of Money is playing tonight at The Plantation in Greeley, CO.  Sets start at 9:30PM.  If you’re not doing anything you should come with me.

Five bands you’ve never heard of that I miss the hell out of.

5.  Focused – Their song Bow, best song ever.

4.  Six Feet Deep – They did it more in sorrow, than in anger.

3.  Warlord – Who is on the Lord’s side?

2.  Strongarm – Best live show I have ever seen (except for #1)

1.  Unashamed – The very essence of spirit filled hardcore.

The bands that I love in their place…

5.  xDisciplex A.D.

4.  Stretch Armstrong

3.  The Warriors

2.  Seventh Star

1.  Zao – Because they never went away.

Hour Two

So I went on a walk with my friend David, good times, one of the things that I will miss about working here is the close proximity to David and Jarrod.  Fortunately since most of my communication with them at work is via e-mail, shouldn’t be to hard to still talk to them.

We did talk about Tesla a bit, and I dug into his Wiki again.  That dude was amazing, to bad the band named after him is shite.

Does it get any more ghetto than this?

Question: How much more can you prove your ghetto-worthiness than to show up at family Christmas dinner wearing a XXL airbrushed, glitter encrusted t-shirt of 2Pac?

Keeping it real. . .stupid.

I’m sure it was a Christmas gift from someone equally ghetto but do you have to wear it to a gathering where every other guy is going to be wearing sweaters, dress shirts and probably slacks? Or at least something dress casual? Can you imagine having a conversation with the fool?
“So, where are you working these days? Oh, still stocking shelves and/or making food at Taco Bell? No school? So. . .you dress like this all the time huh?”

I guess if it got confrontational he would claim he’s “keeping it real” but what does that even mean? Always threatening “I’ll kick your ass?” Having a police record? Getting naive little girls pregnant? talking rap slang everywhere? I’m not saying you have to buy a whole new wardrobe and it’s your business how you want to dress in private or even hanging out with your friends, but unless they dress and talk the same, how serious do you think your family, co-workers, potential employers, are going to take you when you show up dressed and talking like a “Fitty cent” roadie?

Not even your so-called rap stars keep it real. They move out of “the hood” into huge mansions in neighborhoods that have almost a 0% crime rate (that is until they move in, get drunk, get high, beat their wife, kids, neighbors, other rap stars and always threaten “I’ll kick your ass”) Sure they might claim that they’re headed back to the hood, but at this point it’s like visiting a foreign country; they won’t go without their “Peeps,” security, and a healthy set of photography staff. Maybe they need inspiration to write new swill because their last album about raping women in their mansions and playing “street ball” didn’t do well enough for them to get another escalade with gold spinner rims. I guarantee you it’s not “going back to the hood” to stay for very long. (oh yea, and when they call it “rape” they mean having consensual sex with their roadies, or women who want to be able to say “I had sex with that famous person”)

Local stockers union 5143’s finest: tailgating before the fitty cent show.

Podcast Episode 2

Show notes later because it is the weekend and I’m fucking lazy.

**Edit**

Still being super fucking lazy, what with Christmas and all I just have had no desire to do the show notes. One drawback to the insane rambling conversation is that the show notes and tags suck ass to write. I will work on them and have them up before the next episode (Wed.) and I’ll stay up late to do the next episode on time. Sorry I suck, LOL!

**2nd Edit**Episode 2.

This time there are five of us.  Gabe, Doyle, Bobby, Steve and Frank…we are in a booth and that sucked.  Past that.

There is a short recap of the last episode, which was basically a waste of time.  The only part that was really worth hearing is that there was a round robin that never got back to Doyle.  Good stuff.

We get into Doyle’s job at a full figured women’s/babysitting store.  Just thinking about Doyle in the store makes Gabe spit water.  Our waitress is Stevie.  As we order food, the conversation turns to Transformers.  Specifically about whether or not Jazz dies in the movie.  Which he does.  We also touch on the people who do the voices in the film verses who did the voices in the cartoon.

That transfers into a conversation about the old Hannah Barbera cartoons, and how all of the shows that came out in the Scooby Doo era are voiced by the same people.  Kind of a pain in the ass when you are a parent having to watch it with your kids.

Large beers arrive.

Then we talk about some rock stars that didn’t age well.  Specifically Morrissy, David Byrne, and the guys from the Beastie Boys.  Which transfers directly into the Led Zeppelin reunion show.  Specifically about how even though they look ancient they still rock the fuck out.  Also we talk about the rumor that Zep may go on tour, and the line up of the band for the show.

Gabe also gets into his father’s experience seeing Jimi Hendrix at Red Rocks.  And some guy that wanted to fly.

Frank discusses his experience at the Police reunion show.  And drum sets that come up elevators.  And people that actually use their entire drumset.

Then there is a shitty buzzing noise.  I bet it is like a microwave in the kitchen.  Fucking plugs, Gabe needs a new battery for his laptop.

We also discuss Sting’s son’s band and its similarity to Dogstar.  Or Gene Simons’ son.

That transitioned into Powerman 5000, and the Summer Sanitarium Tour, and how bad fucking Kid Rock and Korn suck, then about how fucking Bad Ass Metallica was.  Total destruction.

Then we fuck around about Wikipedia [Citation Required].  And you ability to just randomly start reading about random shit.  Like Mogwai, and how pretentious they are.  And that Blur are shite.

Then we get into G. Love and Special Sauce, and lifting up your weed.  And then the cops came.  And how pizza is just way to fucking dry.

Then Frank said, “Do you remember V.A.S.T.?”  And everyone started to hate their lives.  “Explain to us all why V.A.S.T. is cool, so we all can all think you are a douche.”

Then we talked about how much better Linkin Park is with Rick Ruben as a producer.  And how Linkin Park wanted to evolve.  And in an epiphany we realize that they need more damn cowbell.  It is also pretty amazing that the album is just really well made as a whole.

Then ma-na-ma-na by Cake comes up.  And how that cover is the best cover on clear channel ever.  Bobbie calls it a comeback, when cake never really made a come back.  That comes back to bands that never really went away like Slayer.  Then we get to bands that really did go away, Silverchair, and how they killed Natalie Holloway.

Which of course turns into Frank telling us that Natalie Halloway deserves her fate.  That people that do dumb stuff deserve to disappear.  Then we talk how much we want Mel Gibson to go back to being the old Mel Gibson, instead of messiah Mel Gibson (AKA Charelton Heston).

Then we talk about how shitty King Kong was.  Especially the shitty CGI juggling scene.  Franko is called out on his judgmental nature when it comes to CGI juggling.  Doyle makes it clear that all the parts he likes involve dinos and giant apes kicking ass.

Steve then comments on lower jaw removal.  IN King Kong, some other movie that I didn’t catch and don’t want to rewind to, and then Golden Compass.

Which of course leads into the whole atheist controversy with Golden Compass.

Then we get into what a fucking douche Peter Jackson is.  Seriously how do you hold out on making The Hobbit, and how you can’t trust a skinny director.

Then, could any one else have played Neo?  Well at first people David Duchonvy could have been him, and that Harrison Ford was to old.  No need to explain in jokes, because no one listens to this shit.

What happens if this pod cast is the only audio record of our time.  Which naturally leads into Contact (the movie not the book).  Frank has a hard on for it.  Bobby get a little deeper than the special effects though.  Fabu.

Did I just say that?

Then we get into Killer Instict, and the combo breaker, and Mortal Kombat.

Then we talk about how you can’t bring switchblades, 19th century handguns, or round bombs with a fuse to the airport.  Which led into a short history lesson on the bomb.

Then we talkd about I am Legend some more, and how directors are obsessed with making a movei “their own.”  And how a movie can be it’s own without ruining a book, or just a great story.

Then we talk about Japanese panties, and then Japanese game shows.  Like people tetris, silent library, and rocket toilet.

Then we talked about how much bullshit it is that politicians can’t have corporate sponsors.

Then Doyle answers his cell phone, because he is that guy.

Then Gabe eats the rest of the food.  Like Fatty MacGee.  Which naturally led into a conversation about shitting your pants when you are drunk.

And then we go back to talking about the full figured women’s clothes store, and fun bags the size of a small geo, as well as alternate names for the store like Big Bitches.

Then we talk about stealing food, and illegal gambling.

Then shit gets silly and we talk about killing people.  Then we are done.

Proud Mary

So Ike Turner died. So I dug into my CD collection and found a live version of Proud Mary that I haven’t listened to in a long time. Mother fucking brilliant. So it got me thinking about how people are really judged.

If you don’t know, Ike Turner was an amazing songwriter and producer in the really early days of rock and roll and R&B. But what is he really remembered for, “I only beat you because I love you.” He may or may not have been a “good man,” but should one time period in his life really define him. I guess that is really sad to me, and really disheartening. I have a past full of shit like this (not wife beating, but dig deep enough, and there is some bad shit back there), and I really hope that when I die, I’m remembered for doing some good, instead of the evil that I threw into the world.

What do you think? Should people be judged for the good or the bad? Or can you only find the real heart of a person by looking at the whole?

Just thinking about this a lot today. Also if you like Tina Turner, James Brown, that kind of hyped up rythym and blues review shows, ala Blues Brothers. Then you have to check out Sharon Jones.

First God Damn Podcast

All right here it is. This is the first podcast. This was the goal, and hopefully we will be pulling this off every wednesday.

We started off with asking what is up with what is going on this week, but the topic this time was really movies. We get into I Am Legend the book, and the movie (and a point of clarification there are in fact 3 other movie adaptions of I Am Legend, there is a new one from Asylum called I Am Omega, Doyle you are right). That moved into a discussion on vampire movies in general, specifically the difference in tone between I Am Legend the novel and the current trend in vampire movies, to just have vampires kicking ass, then a bit of comparison with the other two adaptions of the book. It also brought up Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, Harry Potter, our waitress Kristen (if she has a myspace I’ll post it next time), and The Mist (which leads into Doyle being an asshole for having not seen The Shawshank Redemption).

There was a long discussion about one scene in Hitman, that didn’t really convince me to see it. There is a good chance that Bobby will be buying a syringe of “knock out juice” as soon as possible. That of course led into a bit of a discussion about xXx. The consensus it that Vin Deisel blows.

We talked a bit about Sweeney Todd. It has now been dubbed The Count of Monte Scissorhands. We also plug Rotten Tomatoes. Gabe clearley states his opinion on Roger Ebert, because of his opinion on Memphis Belle.

We also talked pretty extensively about Starship Troopers the book, and the movie. Bobby really wanted there to be Power Suits in the movie, Doyle and Gabe could just enjoy it for Doogie.

We also had a discussion about some of our favorite movies (or our children as Bobby Likes to think of them). It ranged from Shawshank Redemption, Metropolis, Blade Runner, Memento, Star Wars, American History X, Predator, Rear Window, Pulp Fiction to A good time was had by all. And George Lucas, fuck you.

And we chat a bit about some new movies, Narnia: Prince Caspian, and Rambo.

We also talk about a few of our friends, Steve, Scott, David you missed the chance to defend yourselves.

Watch out there is a bit of racial sluring, and we deffinitly bring up Dog the Bounty Hunter.

MENU:

Bobby: Hot Wings, 1 Blue Moon

Doyle: Cheese Fries, 2 Budweiser

Gabe: Some Cheese Fries, One Hot Wing, 2 Guinness.

We sat at Cables. And the plan is to just do it every Wednesday. We’ll see! It was fun as hell.