Let’s Get Into This

So I have been kind of hinting at the “troubles” that my wife and I have been going through and it is all out on the table now between the two of us.  She will be moving out very soon into her own apartment, officially it is a separation, some time for her to live on her own so she can start to get her own issues under control (I would add in here “Like I have my own under control,” but that has very little to do with me and every thing to do with God.  An odd phrase on this blog I’m sure).

So here is the thing that I’m realizing.  There was this guy forever ago, he was in a band, he was into books, and his relationship with this God that he would literally fight for in a heart beat.  He loved that one thing about his life more than anything until he realized the power of having sex.  And the pleasure that all that entailed.  He had already gotten into porn (at an ultra early age 2nd grade to be exact), and that was fun enough, but the real deal was so much better.  So what was he willing to give up for sex.

For starters, going into a marriage with purity, his sobriety, his band, his dreams and vision for his life, and most importantly his relationship with faith and God, and that more than anything set him in a tailspin.

Clearly this is me.  So I’m coming out the other end and realizing that something is really missing.  First was that whole God thing.  And that has been what has  pulled me through a lot of this.  Getting close to that infinte creator that sparks a fire inside me like nothing I have ever experiancd before in my whole life.  So I’m on that track, and I’m finding that once again in my life that is all that I need.  But in that statement I find that it pushes me to reconcile with people, I have this relationship that means so much to me, and I want others to have that too, and I want to have real relationships with people.

So much of the past ten years has been about me getting my way, now it is time for me to just learn how to be a friend with nothing to gain.  It is time for me to learn that the presence of someone is more important that what I’m going to get out of a situation.  It’s time for me to go back to being who I was a really long time ago.

And that is a huge deal for me.

Just really wanted to share that, and honestly you guys that write for this and read this, are some of my closest friends, so this seems like a good group to tell it to.

the questions that really matter

“Have you ever seen a she gator protect her youngs or fish in a river swimin free?” – courtesy of Lynyrd Skynyrd

why america will be a short dream…and for some a nightmare

Seriously, this kinda crap goes down all the time ….

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/15181455/detail.html

one man doing the right thing, spending his own recources to improve his community and the gov giving him the old shaftaroo. i wish this dude was in greeley or windsor, i would love to be locked up with him