Harmony of the dancing chicken and dragon

“You don’t hear guys going to a club saying to one another; ‘Screw chicks tonight bro, I gotta dance!’ “
     -Dane Cook

Do we really need another dance movie? I understand there are real underground dance competitions and I’m sure they’re very good at what they do. But seriously, a dance movie coming out on Valentine’s day? You know the only guys going are likely gays. Even gay dancers probably have more respect than that.

Here’s a nice piece of shit. . .

How about that tag line: “It’s not where you’re from, it’s where you’re at?”What the fuck does that even mean? It was just as shitty when it was called “Breakin” oh wait, when it was called “Footloose” or ”Dirty Dancing” or “Save The Last Dance” “Save The Last Dance 2″ or ”Step Up” I heard a comment from someone while I was subjected to this shit a second time before Cloverfield started. This jackass said something lame like; “It’s this generation looking for that good dance movie of their era. For ours, it was Footloose.”  WHAT? I remember footloose being pretty shitty for it’s time too pal. If I lived in a comic book, I would have unbolted my theatre chair and bashed the guys head in when I heard that.

I guarantee you; the acting: shit, the direction: shit, the music: shit, chance of gaining any awards: shit. “yo bro, don’t knock it, there’s a chick dancing in rain and she looks HOT!”OK ‘bro’ if I wanted to see tits, or nudity, or even half-nudity, I don’t need a shitty movie, I would check the 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 sites dedicated to it on the internet. (FOR FREE by the way) go to google and type in “tits” that’s it. hit enter.  I just saved you the price of admission. You’re welcome.

The only dancing I want to see is on my Chinese take out box between the chicken and the dragon. The dancing mystically keeps my chicken fried rice from tasting like shit.

Now that’s what I call dancing!